For us 2009 will always be bittersweet. I am not sure how I feel about it being over but I do know that I am looking to the future and to the wonderful things that 2010 will bring in regards to Ella's Halo. I am thankful for the time we had with Ella and for all of the things she taught us this past year.
- Ella taught me that there is a heaven and I am now no longer afraid to go.
- That I am strong and the hardships in life only make us stronger.
- That I can be a good mother and give myself unconditionally to my child.
- That in every darkness there is light even if you can’t see it right away.
- That grief doesn’t just stay with us for a little while, we carry it with us in our hearts forever and that is okay.
- That there are angels here on earth working their magic and you are lucky if you notice.
- That love is really the only medicine.
- That I don’t have to have all of the answers to know that I am blessed.
- That I am a fighter and that I stand up for the ones I love and make sure they are taken care of.
- That there are good people in this world who want to just give you a hug.
- That doctors don’t know everything but they try their best and work really hard at knowing everything they can.
- That people who are here for a brief time have the most impact on the ones left behind.
- That hours fly by when you are with the ones you love.
- That hospitals aren’t that scary and they can become a second home.
- That no sleep really only makes you more tired.
- That a parent and child bond is never ending.
- That you can let your sick baby hold your finger to let you know it is okay when you are scared even though you are suppose to be the tough one.
- That nurses have the biggest hearts.
- That your love for someone keeps growing even if they are not here any longer.
- That missing someone hurts and it hurts bad.
- That you can fall in love over and over with the same person.
- That bad things can bring two people even closer together.
- That two people can just look at each other and not have to say anything to feel that love is there.
- That I can no longer walk by a baby in need and not help.
- That I am really never by myself…my little girl is with me and will be a part of me.
- That I can be a better person.
- That life is way too short so we have to make the most of it.
- That we are not the only ones who have pain, others do too.
- That it is okay to cry… it is a release of emotional pressure.
- That I married the best man who is the world’s best daddy.
- And that a sunset is how my little girl in heaven says good night to me!
5 comments:
Taryn- beautiful posting and thanks for making me get all teary eyed! Always in my prayers!
You are amazing Taryn, I too had tears in my eyes. We are looking forward to all you both will do with Ella's Halo in 2010, and will do anything that we can to help.
Beautiful post, Taryn. 2009 was such a bittersweet for you, Ryan, and your families. You both have handled everything with such strength and grace.
I just came across your blog and wanted to say this is an amazing tribute to your daughter. My husband and I lost our baby girl, Maleigh, on March 5, 2006. She was born at 20 weeks, and passed away shortly after her birth. It will be 4 years this year, it's been very hard, but we have come a long way. We are now on the journey to adoption.
I will keep you in my prayers.
~Leslie
Oh my gosh Taryn, you are amazing.
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